Your Productivity Sucks

Here comes NaNoWriMo again. Sigh. Perhaps I need to outline my personal rules for this year:  Dawn’s Personal NaNoWriMo rules:

• type nanwrimo with no caps. don’t like caps.
• avoid chocolate. End the month wearing the same saize pants.
• write an outline. I’m not freeform enough to work well without one.
• write 1600 words a day. I’ve tried nano a variety of ways and this seems to be the most successful.
• donate earlier. It’s a good cause; i won’t wait until the end to do it.
• pump iron. Nothing to do with writing, I just want to.

This afternoon Holly and I are making the long trek to Damascus, Oregon, to breed our virgin Silken Windhound, Cleo. Her paramour, Banner, is a handsome red lad who will be enjoying his first conjugal visit as well.
We witnessed the breeding of two silkens a few years ago when we drove studly Ash to meet his love, Delaney. The process was quite civilized. After a few hours of sniffing and relaxing, the owners gently guided the two hounds together, helping support them as they tired of their positions. (Dogs remain conjoined for up to 20 minutes. It’s a natural phenomenon necessary to the breeding process but very tiring and especially uncomfortable for the female.) After 15 minutes, the dogs bodies relaxed and they went their separate ways. The process was repeated the next morning and then we drove Ash home. Six months later, Ash’s lovely progeny, Cleo, came to live with us.
It has been two years since Cleo joined our family. In another few months, we’ll be shepherding her puppies into the world. I can’t wait.

I finally picked up a paddle and started my annual spring foray into the ocean. Kayaking the Puget Sound is always a treat but with the recent spate of warm days and bright evenings, it moves into the realm of the ecstatic. People dont realize that its much more than dragging a plank through water. A well crafted forward stroke is a picture of grace, authority, and timing. It involves every part of the body. The blade dips into the sea quietly. No slosh means no lost energy. As the waist rotates, it pushes the paddle along. The paddle-side foot presses against its foot rest to gain strength. The blade then slips easily out of the water at an angle, just past the hips. No resistance. And that’s just the forward stroke. I haven’t even begun to talk about boat control.

After reading Lake Superior University’s 2009 list of banned words (http://www.lssu.edu/banished/current.php), I’ve been trying to come up with a list of my own. Turns out there’s a lot more stuff to ban than just words:

1. Jeans that reveal butts when seated or squatted.
2. Dogs pooping. Dog shouldnt poop at all.
3. People advising about weight loss.
4. Laugh tracks.
5. Celebrity without skill, talent, or honor.
6. Litter.
7. Anyone who doesnt think I’m adorable.
8. People who don’t like animals.
9. Mucous
10. Did I mention dog poop? Add cat poop to that. Poop in general.

I’m sure I’ll think of many others.

Last night I watched a television program about unusual pets. There was a Capybara — a South American acquatic rodent that is bascially a giant guinea pig. A hundred pounds of boxy cuteness. Round rump. Square face. Big sniffer. Likes to swim. Affectionate. I want one.

Then there was the featherless Cockatiel named Oscar. A victim of feather and beak disease, she looks like a walking version of one of those fryers in the poultry freezer. Oscar is 13 years old and happily serves as a mascot for an animal shelter. She snuggles against her owners neck. She loves to be stroked. I want her too.

If someone else would clean up aftern them, I’d have a dozen pets. One husband, two daughters, a dozen pets and someone to handle the pooper scooper in the back yard. And an indoor lap pool. And a wife. My husband and I both need a wife.